Recognize Your Conditioning

I am currently going through the book, The 7 habits of highly effective people. Despite the fact that this book has been out forever, I have never had the pleasure of reading it. There are several things that have jumped out at me so far, and I am sure that there will be several post that have something to do with this book, but I wanted to make sure that I got this one out ASAP, because I think it is great.

In the early chapters of the book Covey speaks about the fact that most of our reaction to things that come up in our life is based upon how we have been conditioned to see things in our past. In other words, it is the lens that we are looking through that needs to possibly be fixed and not necessarily what we are looking at. Let me give an example:

When Jane was young, Jane grew up in an abusive home, Jane was constantly punished physically even when her actions did not merit that type of punishment. Now, fast forward 30 years, Jane is now leading a youth group, and one of the children comes up to her and tells her that they were physically punished the previous night. Instantly, all of the thoughts, feelings, and emotions from her own experience come back, and she finds herself compassionate towards the child. Realize, however that Jane has yet to get the full story, she has no idea what the child did in order to get in trouble, but it was the conditioning of her past that caused the reaction.

How many times have we made a decision, passed judgment, or reacted not purely based upon the situation at hand, but based upon our conditioning to that subject. Could it be, that when we are pointing the finger at others and attempting to fix “issues”, that the first “issue” that needs to be fixed is the lens through which we see the problem?

How have you been conditioned, and what does this conditioning cause you to see?